2007-10-29 - 2:43 a.m.

All the cleaning paid off, and by the time they arrived, the house looked lovely.
The only thing missing was a kitchen table, because we were waiting to buy a table until there was space for it in the house. After all the cleaning, we picked one out and paid for it, but couldn't get a u-haul rented before Dean's family came. So, on the 2nd day of Dean's parents visit Dean's brother and his girlfriend came down from San Fran and we used their truck to pick up the table.

And so it happened that on the very day our kitchen table arrived in our home we had our first meal with the whole family. I even made a pot roast and roasted potatoes! It meant so much to me to have the whole family there for our first meal on our table, it felt like a grand occasion, and one that none of us will forget. Also, I am so grateful to Dean's family for everything they have done for me, it was nice to be able to host them at our house and cook a meal for them in thanks. So last week we "christened" our new table in the best way possible.

I know it's crazy that a table to could make someone so happy, but I couldn't be happier. It's as if the final piece of our domestic puzzle was put into place, and now I can REST and RELAX and enjoy our home! I have no more "housework" to do! And now I have a place to write my great American novel! And Dean and I have a place to eat our supper besides the couch! I swear, just seeing that table every day makes me so goddamn happy, i can't even believe it! I feel like when the table came, the blue fairy made me into a real grownup. It feels wonderful!

In other news: I have been reading a book by the Dali Lama on being a better person and developing spiritually, and the result is that I've committed myself in my heart to being more loving, forgiving, and encouraging of the people in my life - and not criticizing others or gossiping. Trying to be a nice person isn't new, I've always tried to be nice, but this time I'm trying to really spread joy. And cut out all negative thought - I'm working on not even thinking a mean thing or saying a mean thing. Dean is really a role model for me in this respect, he is always so generous to others and is so kind to all animals and all people. He never says anything bad to me about anyone, even in private, even just to me. And he is so loving with me all the time. So I know that it is up to me to improve myself, but it is nice that I live with someone who is so loving, he makes it easy for me to feel joyful and positive.