2001-06-06 - 11:43 p.m.

Every time I see her I think that its the best visit ever, because our relationship is getting better the older I get. She woke me up this morning with kisses and hugs and tales from my childhood. It was wonderful! And I stopped and wondered why my dad doesn't ever talk to me about my child hood the way she does, and then I realized - Hey, he missed it dude. He has no stories to tell.

I found an old photo album while we were packing her stuff today. I've seen this photo album a thousand times when I was a kid, but the last time I looked through it was around the time of my highschool graduation. So I'm looking through it tonight and I saw something amazing in the pictures that I never saw before.

The pictures of my mom, dad, my aunts and uncles - They are all pictures of them at MY AGE NOW. Its sooo weird. When I was a kid I looked at them and thought how old they all looked - but now I look at the pictures and I think - My God! They're babies! They're just like ME. What the hell are they doing at my age with kids and a house and stuff!!! And my grandparents look all silvery and sleek in these pictures - and then I realized - Hey, my parents are the age now that my grandparents were in those pictures. My parents are grandparent age!

Its all just blowing my mind. This age thing really did sneak up on me.

And it also makes me laugh when I realize that all this time I thought my parents had everything all figured out, that they were all-knowing and wise. And then I look at those pictures and I realize - They were just students and goof-offs just like me! They didn't have it all figured out at all!

And the ultimate strangest thing about the pictures was that I realized - My parents, aunts and uncles - they used to be hotties!

It all kind of scares me because as much as I adore my parents for the way they treat me and am proud of them for what they are doing in their own lives (My mom going off to a foriegn country to begin a new life working with orphans in Romania! how exciting!)- When I am their age I do not want to have their life. When I am approaching 60 I do NOT want to have lived most of my life in Abilene Texas. I do not want to have never been truly in love. I do not want to have had the same job 30 years. I do not want to be religious. I do not want to have a house full of meaningless stuff. I do not want to be without close friends.

Listen, i gotta jett. I'm using a public computer and there are nice people waiting to use it.