2001-12-23 - 2:53 a.m.

I went to a party last night. And spent the night. And had the most amazing day. Beyond amazing.

The party was at Katie's house. It was her Christmas party. I dressed as a reindeer, with red antlers and a matching red corset. I was "Vixen". I arrived with a bottle of champagne and wearing my fabulous outfit and feeling so Christmassy, so ready for a party, so fanciful. The party only got better from there.

It really was one of the BEST parties I have ever attended. Katie has two roomates, and they are both the coolest girls, and between the three of them, thier circle of friends is very large and every single one of the people they know is intelligent, and outgoing and just so kindhearted. I was at a party full or people I didn't know, and who didn't know each other but everyone mixed so well, the vibe was extremely positive.

There was a MAN mixing cocktails in the kitchen. His name is Pat. (dull name for a fabulous individual). He is 32 years old. And HOT. And I know, i know, I know I've written HOT before about other people and when I said that of course I meant sexy to me. But this guy looks like JFK junior, only BETTER LOOKING. A real MAN. Excellent taste in attire. He's been best friends with katie's roomate for ages.

The first time I met pat was on Halloween. He came to the party I was at dressed in a big furry dog costume, with an X of duct tape across his privates, and carrying a jar of peanut butter. He has a good sense of humor, and isn't ashamed to dress up at halloween and have fun. I took no notice of him that night, because I only met him briefly and he left quickly.

The next week I helped Katie and her roomates move into her new house. Not only did he spend ALL DAY helping everyone move in. That day was November 1st. He had never ever met Katie's other roomate Dorita before that day. But when he found that she was moving into the 3rd bedroom in the house, which didn't have a door yet - He went right out and bought Dorita a door as a housewarming gift, and then came back and installed it for her. That's the kind of guy he is -- that not only does he help his friends move, but that he would buy his friend's roomate a door and put it in just to be nice. He's sooo nice. We were friendly to each other that day, but I looked like shit (i'd been moving all day!!) and was tired and so thought he was beyond way out of my league that I didn't even think once about chatting him up.

So I saw him at the party last night. And the party was full of good looking people. But hands down, he was the best looking guy there. In fact, he's the best looking guy I've ever met. Hotter than Jim. I saw him making cocktails, by the espresso Machine. He was making Espresso Martinis (3 parts vodka, 1 shot of espresso, and one part kalua, with a dash of creme de cocoa - Yummy!) There was a CROWD of people between me and him. Through the crowd he made eye contact, called me by name (He remembered mine and I didn't remember his!) he reached out his hand and drew me through the crowd to him and offered to make me a drink. He said katie had told him I would be there, and that I was moving to LA and he wanted to talk about it - He had grown up in LA, but moved to Vancouver with his in highschool. (he's a dual citizen like me!)

I about died a thousand times just standing there talking to him because he was so beautiful, but I kept my cool. I asked him if he could guess what reindeer I was by my outfit. He asked me what I meant? and I said, you know dasher dancer etc. and he said you're a reindeer? And I said, Yeah, I'm Vixen -didn't you notice the ANTLERS ON MY HEAD? And he said, he hadn't noticed, he wasn't looking at my hair, and I understood he had been looking at my face (and cleavage)

We talked about LA. We talked about Vancouver. He's taking a trip to thailand next month for a 3 week vacation, we talked about travel. I asked him about his profession, it turns out he's a film director! He has made 3 independent short films professionaly -- he's also an animator and now directs animations for a living . . . I told him about being a writer, we talked and talked. At one point the CROWD came between us again, but he made a point to walk around the crowd and stand next to me to keep talking. All the while he was topping off my drink.

So it was a party. I mingled. Albert came, and Graham and Jamie and my other friends and it was great to see them and have a chance to thank them for their friendship and say goodbye. I continued to mingle. But every once in a while Pat would pour me another drink as he was going past (he was pouring everyone drinks, he was really being a friend to katie and her roomate by keeping the party going) and I was so smitten.

So late in the evening I looked for him, and he wasn't anywhere around. Katie told me that he had went outside, he hadn't left, but he went for fresh air. So I ran outside to catch him there. And I told him "You know I had to tell you Pat, that I dig you, and that I'm attracted to you." That's all I said. He was like, thanks, i like you too. But that was kind of it. We had both had a billion cocktails by this point, I'm sure I wasn't too smooth, but I was proud that I had told him, at least put it out there. We walked back inside together and kept talking about film etc. Great conversation.

At the end of the night, when all who were not driving were crashing, Katie and I convinced Pat to sleep with us in her bed!! We really must have been drunk! But he consented, and slept between us.

I woke up in the morning to find that my corset was off, and that Pat's shirt was off, and I was sleeping in his arms, against his bare chest. Which was beautiful, beautiful. The most handsome chest I've ever seen. He works out. Alot. Beautiful. And I got all nervous like, in a good way - Like I could hear his heartbeat, and I was conscious of my breathing, and it felt to me like it did the first night I met Jim. Totally. Where I was all giddy and butterfly-ey. And to my surprise, he woke up and touched me, and kissed me, and sucked at my nipple, and put his hand in my panties, and made me so wet. And when I opened my eyes I was looking at the most beautiful man alive smiling at ME! It was too unbelievable. I really just did not know what to do. And then it was morning and people came through the room and we giggled and he said we'd have to finish it later.

Later!! Oooh I was excited. I hoped there would be a later. And there was.

I drove him to his apartment (he'd left his car there, and had to walk his dog.) Then we went for breakfast with all of our friends. The whole time, I just was so freaky nervous. Like I was not nervous at all the night before. Really, i was in my "I'm fabulous" party mode. But I found myself totally nervous. So we did not broach the subject of sex, there was no kissing, nothing.

After breakfast, I brought him back to his house. I was feeling more nervous by the second, realizing that sex was quite a real possiblity, and here was the MAN OF MY DREAMS in front of me, just the nicest guy, the smartest , a film director, beloved for years by all of Katie's friends, witty, charming and beyond good looking. And of course, I didn't think I was going to get any play one week before my departure, so I hadn't shaved my cooch, I had missed a patch or two on my knees, I have a bandaid on my back covering some stitches I had put in a few days ago, I have 3 pimples on my face, and I'm wearing my tackiest oldest nastiest bra and the lumpy ugliest shirt, because its all I brought to Katie's to wear because usually I just bum around the day after a party and recover. I'm not used to actually having my dreams come true. So I was nervous about how I looked, and I think it made me act a little nervous.

In his apartment, we got under the covers for a "nap". He was being so cool, and I was just a little too nervous/eager. But the second we were under the covers, he kissed me.

And then we were having sex. And it was the BEST SEX OF MY LIFE. Without a doubt. INCREDIBLE.

We had sex for six hours. SIX HOURS. The first hour of just foreplay. And the way he moved, and touched me, it was amazing. I have never been so simpatico with anyone like we were. Just amazing. The second hour was straight intercourse (with a condom, of course!) And he was able to not come but just fuck forever and forever. I finally begged him to go ahead and let himself come and enjoy an orgasm. The third hour was a nap, in which I slept completely curled in his arms.. The fourth hour was more foreplay. We tried to have sex again, and put the condom on, but he said he was too "knackered" and so we went back to foreplay. The fifth hour was him laying me down on my stomach, a kissing my body, touching me ever so lightly, kissing me so lightly, every part of my back, even my legs and even sucking on my toes and rubbing my feet. That's something boyfriends do, or people who are in love with you. I haven't had that much attention since I was first with Jim. It felt unbeliebably good. Then he turned me over and did the same to my front. Then I turned him over an kissed him and repeated what he had done to me to him.

By this time, I was fully, completely, head over heals, in love. I knew it when I was thinking all kinds of really lovey thoughts as I kissed his body. I knew it was too late for me.

Then we lay in bed for the 6th hour and traced our fingers over each other's bodies, and faces, before finally going back to some hardcore foreplay. He finally had to go, his cell phone had been ringing like crazy all day and he had ignored every call, but he was supposed to be doing things, he had to go.

There is no question in my mind that he is a completely caring individual, the way he touched me, and spent so long just tracing the outline of my face, shows me he is attracted to me, but more than that -- that this was about intimacy for him. It may be a one day stand, for the pleasure of it, but he was very generous and selfless and respectful in how he treated me, and he was enjoying the touching and the cuddling as much or more than anything.

And he told me so many amazing things. He never said that I was beautiful. He never said that I was fabulous, or anything like that. I did get the impression that this was just sex in the sense that he was attracted to me and we just met and it was sex, end of story, there was no lovey talk, he didn't flatter me directly in the ways i'm used to . But he said the most amazing things. He told me all of these things, in the throws of passion. He said I was a drug. That the way I touched him was a drug, just the smell of me, or the touch of my skin, made him high, made him powerless. He said I was intense. He said the sex was unbelievable. He said I was a siren, like Sylla and Charibdis, that rendered him unable to leave the bed.

And the touch of him, it was equally as intoxicating for me. there are no words to describe how I really felt, how i never ever wanted it to end, how totally full of pleasure I was at every second. How totally relaxed and open and appreciated I felt.

So when it was over, we got up, and readied ourselves to leave the apartment. For some reason, i was nervous. All through the sex, i wasn't nervous at all, i was in a zone, i was so enjoying every part, I wasn't self conscious at all. But as soon as we got out of bed, I was self conscious again. i hate that.

I got de ja vu at the top of the stairs. I didn't tell him that. But I consider it a good sign- it means this was an important meeting, so important that this event had shown up in my dreams previously . . .

He said to me "I wish I had met you before, and that you weren't leaving for LA so soon!" then he kissed me. He asked me when I was leaving and I told him on Saturday. He said he wanted to see me again before then, and when was I free. I told him that the next 3 days were family days, but after Christmas I would love to see him. He said he'd call me after Christmas. He said he'd come see me if he was ever in LA, if i wanted. I said I'd love for to see him if he came. I asked him if he really thought he would come, and he said he had family there, he'd come sometime this year for sure.

I was very chill about the whole thing, not realizing at the time due to my own nervousness what a big deal it really is that he was going to make a point to come and visit me, and keep in touch after I left! He didn't have to say that. he could have been, gee, too bad you're leaving soon, thanks for today, see you later -- but he wasn't like that. He was so nice.

As he walked me out of his building, he put his arm around my shoulders , and when we got to my car, he kissed me, right there on the street for quite some time . . .and then he wished me a merry christmas and he walked down the street, but as I drove past him he waved . . .

This may seem like nothing to anyone who has read my string of recent encounters. But for the record, for all time, i just have to say. This is EXACTLY the kind of person I want to be with. For all time. If he asked me to marry him tomorrow, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. (of course I'm sure he's not feeling the same level of feeling towards me, and its only been one "date", and it is absolutely ridiculous to think that something like that would ever happen, now or ever with him. But my point is, I KNOW he's just the exact kind of person for me. And I know how I feel about him. And he may not be THE ONE in the sense that he may not actually be destined for my future. But that he is THE ONE in the sense that he is PERFECT.

Lets just take a quick stock, in no particular order: He has demonstrated loyalty to friends, as in the case of knowing Katie's roomate 5 years and serving at her party. He has demonstrated spontaneous outrageous kindness, as in getting the door for Dorita. He has an incredible body. He's the ultimate lover. He is a film director. He has a job and money and a car and owns a high rise apartment in downtown vancouver. He's 32 and single. He has a college degree. He had a copy of Hunter S Thompson and William Burroughs on his bookshelf, next to books about space exploration. He loves storytelling and storytellers. He's funny, and not afraid to wear costumes or be silly. He likes to drink and have a good time, but isn't a sloppy drunk or an alcoholic or anything of that sort. He does mushrooms frequently, and has demonstrated the consciousness that comes from that. He has treated me much much sweeter than was called for in a one night stand sex situation, which either means he likes me alot, or that he's just a really nice guy. We had a conversation about creation and he said he thought that the drive to create (as in music, art, film, writing) was inherent in people, and part of mankind's struggle for divinity. He's not pretentios in the slightest. He has a dog, which he cares for very well. He has fantastic fashion sense. He came from a good family, his parents are both university professors. His personality is warm, open, genuine, positive, kindhearted. He is witty and intelligent. Um, that's the short list.

So I'm going to see him again. And when i do, I'm going to try to get past my own nervousness about his good lucks, and just be my total open self. Because I have a great personality too, and I'm definitely his equal in intelligence and education, and there's no reason that things can't work out between us. the only thing that can hamper us is my own acting as if I'm not worthy of him.

And we're going to have a terrific next date, whatever we do, whether we go out together, roll ( I really hope we roll!), or just have sex.

and then I'll go to LA. And he gave me his email, so I'll send him little emails from time to time. and hopefully, we can become the kind of long distance friends that it thrills you to hear from from time to time. And maybe I'll stick in his heart a little. And maybe he really will come to california to visit family, and stop and see me. (I know that if he does come to LA, he will definitely look me up, he's just that kind of person. The question is only whether he makes it to LA soon or not. )

And the magic is there for me with him. Maybe by the time I've known him longer, I'll be more relaxed, and be able to keep my magic flowing. And maybe, just maybe he'll fall in love with me in LA and we'l start a long distance romance that will end with him moving to LA or me back to vancouver. That's a long way off.

And if he does not fall in love with me, then I will have made a friend for life with a fabulous gorgeous man, who has left me with the fondest of memories of today for forever and forever.

And I'll always have the lesson I learned from this about myself - which is that I can, in fact, attract any man i want. Even those who I always thought were out of my league. I learned that there is noone out of my league anymore.

But right now, I'm just enjoying the afterglow -- I GOT LAID. By the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. My body feels soooooo good. And I made a new friend in him. Life could not possibly be any better.

Reading back over this entry, it seems kind of strange to me, as if I were osizing up his resume of qualities or something, or that I were trying to trap a good lucking man in some way. that's not how I mean this. The very most important part of all of this is that i was HAPPY today and that so was he, and that we found the happy together.