2002-01-20 - 11:25 a.m.

This first week of working such an insane schedule has taken its toll on me -- I'm EXHAUSTED and my sleep schedule is really just a serious of random naps I sneak in before and after my work schedule - its hard to adjust to . . .

But I just HAD to write, because as much as I am weak and trembling with my hangover and exhaustion, I am also deeply joyous and tremendously touched at the kindnesses Jim and La have shown me in my first couple of weeks here in LA -- not only have they opened their home to me, and fed me, and shared cigarettes with me, and bought me gas (I don't get my first paycheck for another week) But at every moment La is there handing me a Coca-cola to take to work, or tucking me in to bed at night with a kiss and a hug, or leaving me a sweet note of encouragement, or giving me an affirmation of my specialness to her, or making me something to eat, just generally going out of her way and above and beyond the call of duty to make me feel welcome and loved in her home.

And Jim too, who started off a little standoffish has begun to hug me and smile at me and encourage me too.

I sometimes feel that there is no way I can possibly reciprocate such love, or let them know how much I truly feel it -- but I just had to write about it because I am so happy and so moved, and feel so lucky to have such truly generous, thoughtful, loving friends as I have in Jim and La, and particularly La. I feel so optimistic about this year, and I'm GLAD I came.