2002-02-01 - 9:31 a.m.

So I was listening to an interview with Laura Huxley, widow of Aldous Huxley, and she was absolutely amazing. The woman was 89 years old and she had the most beautiful voice, it reminded me of Beatriz', allthough she spoke perfect English she had an accent that made me wonder if her first language wasn't Spanish.

I was so impressed by her age, for one -- I can only hope I will be so lucky to live so long and see so much, and also by the fact that at 89 she is still kicking -literally! She said body movement is vital and she does leg kicks every day!

She was asked about her life-long vegetarianism, and if that was a factor in her good health and she said she was certain it was, but not because our bodies weren't meant to process meat, but because we no longer eat meat of animals that we cared for ourselves, animals that were shown kindness and love. She said animals today are treated so poorly and live such hellish lives, that when they are butchered they die with rage, and that when we eat them we are taking into our bodies all their rage and negative feelings. That's the best case I've ever heard for going vegetarian, and I think that in time I will return to being a vegetarian.

I was also impressed by what she had to say about life in general, and about bringing children into the world. She said that the same way we plan a house to build and love the house before construction has even began, that we should love our babies before they are concieved, and so continue to love them when they are into the womb. She said that babies who are born wanted and loved, no matter the circumstances, will have the chance to reach their full human potential, and that babies who come into the world unwanted know it even before birth and so are stunted in their lives. I mean, all of that is kind of common sense on one level, but her voice was so beautifual and as she spoke she just radiated love --

it made me realize what i think my true purpose in life should be -- to spread positive energy and love. you know la and I used to talk about it back in the day, how we each had a different role to play and different lessons to learn, and she told me that i knew how to love and that i helped to teach her that, the same way she knew how to self-cultivate and reach the spiritual and she taught me that. Anyway, for a while i felt a little let down, like what I had wasn't a gift but just an extension of self-less behavior that wasn't healthy for me -- but now I realize that I do have a special capacity for love that I should really put out into the world . . . And I can do that and be a strong woman too . . .

I hate it that I have only 30 minutes for lunch, i'm late back to work already, i have so much i want to say but i've just got to go . . .