1601-01-06 - 3:49 p.m.

Its strange what sleep deprivation does to you. For the first couple of days you're really snoozy, falling asleep while making conversation. Then something happens to you -- its partially a product of cigarettes and coffee, but there's more to it than that -- you become speedy. Chatty. Very Crisp. But also Flaky.

I can't decide if I like this state better or not. On the one hand, I feel much more functional than in the snoozy faze, because now there's no danger of me falling asleep at all, I've gotten so little sleep that I'm now an official insomniac. I'm not in danger of crashing, I'm buzzing along just fine. Very verbal. Could write and write and write today.

But some part of me knows I'm not really myself. Allthough my thoughts are more automatic, they're also less grounded--I'm more apt to say something wickedly funny, but also more apt to ignore subtleties, I have more clarity, but less warmth . . .

Its a strange state. One that I don't see having an end, until the end of the temp job I'm currently working . . .

And when I do get a chance to sleep, I have no bed. Literally. When I actually get an apartment and a bed of my very own, I'm going to go to bed early everynight and glut myself on sleep, luxuriate in it, become a real dreamer and napper and sleepyhead.