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2003-01-25 - 2:30 p.m. Now, about the Peace Rally/Anti-War protest - It was sooooo inspiring. 200,000 people were there. I was staying at Dean's and we made love all morning, and so we got to the protest pretty late, but by golly we made it! There were people there of all ages, from all walks of life, all nationalities -- the crowd was predominantly white, but the speakers were extremely diverse. It was thrilling to be in the midst of so much positive energy, and to know that our voice for Peace is getting stronger and stronger - It turns out that the combined rallies in San Fran and D.C. included about 700,000 people, so many more people than ever protested Vietnam! I don't think our administration gives a hoot, however opposition to this administration is really galvanizing americans and is bringing us all together in a way i couldn't have imagined. Maybe when this is all over, we will have enough momentum built up and cohesion among the people to really make some positive changes in the world.I really believe that, by the way. I'm an idealist. It's not a bad way to live. You should be one too! And Dean - God, I've never been more in love. We had the most passionate sex I've ever had in my life, surpassing all others this weekend. I'm starting to trust this thing with him on a deep level. I mean, I always did, I was always open with him - but there was something deep in the bottom of me that was still trembling since my last big rejection, and something about the way we were this weekend soothed that for me. I've decided to scrap my former novel, speaking of which. Not destroy it or anything, but I'm not going to do a second draft this year or polish it up. Let that be a fun project of nostalgia in my old age. It was really good practice for me at the time, I'm glad I did it. But it's time for me to quit procratinating, quit taking the same path in writing, it's time to start something fresh, because i can do it. I don't need the crutch of my heartache anymore. I can write new characters and still draw on my experiences without having to actually tell the story of my past over and over. I have new vigor. Last night, Leslie and Chrissy and La and I went out to the Dune past Malibu. It was only my 2nd time, and the first time for Leslie and Chrissy. (I love having them here, I love having La here, I love that we're all here.) We went beyond the rocks and splashed a bit on the beach until the tide came in, and then climbed up the dune, and contemplated space exploration. And looked at the stars. Can I just say - I LOVE California! It's January, and it was warm at night, so warm that we were up on the dune without coats. And we were looking out over the ocean, and the sky was a glitter bowl above us. I am sooo glad I came. When we went home that night, as we were going to bed, Chrissy said that she hoped heaven would be just like that, like being there on the dune with the ocean and the stars above us. All alone with the world expanded before us - If there is a heaven, i hope it would be like that too. I want to take Dean to our heaven soon. previous /next |
