2003-05-12 - 11:58 p.m.

Then tonight I realized there was a misspelled word in the resume I had double checked a thousand times. And when you're applying for a secretarial position, it just looks BAAAD. No way I'm going to get a call back on this one.

It was a long shot anyway, because normally people don't even consider applicants from out of town anyway, so i wasn't really expecting a callback, it's just dissappointing because I feel not as productive. I'm no closer to a better job at all.

Maybe something will come up there in the future, and it will look good that I tried to apply before. Or maybe this was the universe steering me to a different future. I really think that if you try as hard as you can to move forward, then even when surprises come up or doors close, it's just life's way of guiding you to the right future for you.

The screening last weekend went very well, i can't believe i was so excited for so long and then it was over so quick! It was pretty neat seeing the film at the Egyptian.

But the best part of the weekend by far was Leslie's birthday party. 5 of us drank 4 bottles of champagne and toasted Leslie and gave her presents and Chrissy made an outrageous cake with an entire mini chess set and plastic insects on it. We were in wonderful spirits, and it felt so good for Dean to be there and a part of it. Leslie and Chrissy really adore him.

The highlight of this most recent weekend was going to our favorite beach near Santa Barbara with the girls. We sunned ourselves all day and I felt very playful, like a real girl. Carefree.

The crazy abandoned school was all fenced off, though, so we didn't get to take them there. Kids (I assume) had graffittied the outside of the building really bad, it made me angry and sad, too. Not even because it drew attention to the place and made them lock it up, but because the building was sooo beautiful in its natural state, with its mission church look. Some people have no respect.

And it's too bad also because I really wanted to take Dean there . . . But I guess all things must change and Dean and I will discover our own hideaways

My social calendar is absolutely full the next two weeks! It's weird because I feel more in a personally productive and writing zone than ever, so there won't be much time for myself -- but it's really nice to have big events ahead to anticipate, and that make you stay present in the moment.

Tomorrow is the second to last episode of buffy. Wednesday La and I are going to this big hippie meditation for love for the planet. Thursday are the Vox awards and La got us all tickets -- also Chrissy and Leslie's old friend Dwanna will be in town, and I can' t wait to hang out with her again. She's like 45 but she looks 25 and she is a party animal. She was friends with Chrissy's mom in Tennessee when Chrissy was growing up, but she used hang out with Chrissy's friends. When she was young she lived in New York and shared an apartment with G.G. Allen (sp?) She was his roomate and best friend when he died. She's been everywhere and done everything. Full of laughter and stories! I like it that she never got old, even though I know I won't be partying as hard as her when I'm her age. But I think I'll always be young at heart, too.

This weekend Leslie and Chrissy are coming with me to Santa Cruz. Then there's the last episode of buffy and the big buffy bash. Next weekend Dean and I are going to Vancouver!! It really really is full steam ahead for me from here on out.

Plus, I'm working on a website for the film people that leslie worked with, which they want up before I go to Canada. I finally got to see the scene we shot at the restaurant. I enjoyed filming it so much and was so excited to see how it turned out! But dude, i'd be lying if I said it didn't suck. The people are sweethearts, and they're actors, but I know more about filmaking just from being around my friends than they do! They didn't even have any LIGHTS. NONE. I mean, ESPECIALLY when you're filming with digital video you need lights. I mean they had NONE. The whole thing turned out dark and yellow. It's really a shame, because they spent so much time and money on this and it looks terrible.

But I'm looking forward to the challenge of web design for them. I know some html but I really overpresented myself and this is going to be a big stretch for me. But that's good, because it will give me a chance to learn more skills.

Ok, no deep thoughts tonight. Just a rundown of what's popping up in my peppy head.