2003-08-08 - 6:12 p.m.

I don't know if I'm ready for this housewarming party or not. I'm sure that by tomorrow, I'll be wearing the crazy black lace and gold lame skirt I bought from Teri Hatcher for a dollar at her garage sale, and I'll be in the mood. But as for today, i'm low-key. It's been a funky week. And by funky, I mean full of funk.

I started Birth Control Pills this week. This is a Big Step for Dreamself. It's been 5 years. And I got up the gumption to go to the doctor and have them prescribed, and then the pharmacist scared me about my smoking and the risk of strokes, and then I started the pills this week and I've felt tired and bloaty and grumpy all week.

But it is possible that all of that has nothing to do with the new pills -- it could be the current astrological alignment. The planet Mars is closer now to the Earth than it has been for 5,000 years! And that means that war and passion are being stirred up all over the planet -- and also that those of us who are keeping our cool may be exhausted from the effort.

I also worked really hard on a surprise for Dean this week, that didn't meet my expectations. Maybe I'm just down on myself, but nothing I have done this week has met my own satisfaction. Dean's surprise just doesn't seem quality enough to show him how much I love him on the occasion of celebrating one year together, it looks instead like something I would have made in highschool. But my heart was in the right place!

AND I called in sick one day this week only 2 weeks into my new job! I felt guilty and terrible about it - but I just couldn't get out of bed, i felt so yucky! My new boss is an ANGEL and she paid me for the day anyway - but it's stressful on one's psyche to be in a position to have to prove oneself like in a new job.

Ryan's not coming to the party this weekend. Of course not. Remind me, why do I bother to care?

Now I'm being all complainy and I hate being like that.

Maybe what I need to perk up is just a stiff drink. Or Dean's sweet lovin'.