2004-12-29 - 1:08 p.m.

Christmas morning Dean surprised me with a couple of private gifts of lingerie - Dean is soooo thoughtful and he has outrageous taste - I love him! He said that when he was at the lingerie store buying the outfits the women in the store and the salesgirls all went on and on about how lucky I was - and believe me, I know it!

It was Miriam's first Christmas as her family doesn't celebrate Christmas and since Dean's family isn't religious it was just lots of fun and it was such a kick to see the delight and surprise on Miriam's face. Getting to spend Christmas with my best friend (who is dating Dean's brother!!) was definitely one highlight of the weekend for me.

Dean's family is the best - They are what makes spending Christmas with them so wonderful. His parents are so beyond generous and so loving and fun, and so is his brother. Jay wrote me a Christmas card that said that I had become one of his best friends this year, "and that rules!" I think it rules too. I have never felt so included in a group before -- but Dean's brother really treats me like I am included in his group of friends, and Dean treats me like I am his best friend, and Dean's mom has girltalk with me and treats me like a friend - I am very grateful to have them in my life.

Christmas night we all got dressed up and went for Dinner at the 4 Seasons. It was the fanciest dinner I have ever been to! But it's fun to be fancy once in a while. There was Venison on the menu, so both Dean and I ordered it. It's funny to me that a week ago Dean hit a deer, and now the universe has brought us an opportunity to eat deer. It was tasty.

Christmas night we all went dressed up to see The Life Aquatic. It was truly the greatest film ever made of all time. It had everything - it was beautifully filmed, beautiful to look at, hilarious, great acting, great script, touching, full of sealife animation, and there were even boobies. I can't recommend this movie enough. Bill Murray is genius (but we knew that, right?)

The last couple of days me and Dean have just been chillin' with his 'rents. Dean's mom apologized for having a boring Christmas, but it hasn't been boring to us! Getting a chance to just chill feels good. New Years in Vegas is going to be very high-energy, so chilling with the fam right now feels really good.

I heard from my mom and all the kids liked the stickers, and her shoes fit comfy, and that makes me feel good to know the presents sent to Romania were well received. I do wish I could spend Christmas with my mom, but I think she's only got 2 more Christmases in Romania before she's back, I can look forward to spending the holidays with her then.

Dad said his tests are scheduled for the 31st and the 7th of January - he won't get the results for another week after that, so he said he'd call sometime around the 14th and let me know what was up with his cancer. I guess all I can do between now and then is pray and work my magic for his good health. I am not really letting sadness settle in until we know more.

Dad and I had a good conversation on the phone, until he put his girlfriend on (he hasn't had a single conversation with me alone since he started dating her - he always puts her on the line at the same time, too - what is this about??? I think he's trying to make her feel included in his life and so I can dig that -- but I miss having a conversation with just my Dad!) and she told a story about something that happened to them on Christmas eve that was completely dramatic and embarassing to my Dad. She told me because she wanted me to get riled up about it the poor behavior of both her sister and my Dad. But who cares? I don't . . .

Even so, I'd like to take a moment in my own diary to make a couple of points I think Dad's girlfriend just didn't get. 1)With all that is going on in my Dad's life right now, I think it's only natural that the tension inside him about his cancer is going to express itself in other ways, so I just think everyone should cut him some fuckin' slack, you know? 2)It's only natural that when you blend 2 families (Dads and hers) there's going to be some tension as people get to know each other, test each other's boundaries, figure out whassup. I mean, it's taken our family 20 years to work out the kinks in our relationships, it's bound to take a couple of years for Dad's girlfriend's family and ours to work out the new kinks together. So please understand this and relax a little!

But I can't be too mad at Dad's girlfriend -- 1) because she is there loving and taking good care of my Dad and I really appreciate that and 2) Dean says that she means well and has a good heart but that she doesn't know how to properly relate to other people, and I think he's right -- It's not that she's being bitchy, because she does have a good heart, it's just that she's a little clumsy in relating to other people.

Not everyone can be an expert at relating to people like I am, right? hahaha I really shouldn't be so self-righteous about my own perfection, huh!

Well, I probably won't get a chance to be back online until after New Year's -- so until then

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!