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2000-06-27 - 18:21:44 Larissa read my tarot last night - And it was an amazing reading. In all my tarot readings in the past, I have been getting the same cards symbolizing myself- The card for the hermit (symbolizing loneliness, aloneness, hermitage) - and the card for temperence (an ethereal kind of harmony, conflict avoidance) and this time the temperence card was in my past and all my cards for the future were wands and were aces and kings - And the reading basically said that I am energized for a new journey in life, that I am entering into a time of productivity, that others see me as (the tower) destroying everything in my life but really I'm building it up- It was so inspiring to me because I think tarot seems to echo what I already feel about my life - and its exciting to think that I no longer feel like an hermit, like I'm in exile but I now do feel more inspired and ready to journey --Getting this tattoo has meant so much to me - I just got a tattoo of a celtic labrynth in the small of my back - it is the symbol of the ancient maze that is carved into Glastonbury Tor - Last week I got a fortune at Formosa that read "Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned" and it really spoke to me - I realize that my life is a path and I don't know where it's leading or even what's around the corner - and there's no turning around. So the tattoo is a symbol of the self I was just discovering when I went to the Tor when I was 16 - a reaching back towards the self I knew I wanted to be that I lost sight of for a while - and its a symbol of my future path - I do feel a sense of destiny, and I do feel I'm on a journey. And the tattoo has meaning for me too in terms of my body - I have really constructed myself - I chose this for myself - I chose breast surgery and I constructed my body to suit who I wanted to be and this tattoo is another mark that makes me different than i was yesterday, that marks me as unique, that marks the image I am choosing for myself - We are all socially constructed I believe but the mark of self actualization and self cultivation is self-construction - and I am doing that. What have I learned in 24 years? Everyone has to learn on their own, and everyone has to be their own teacher, noone can really teach someone else - and what I have learned for myself is about joy. One should never do anything that doesn't bring them joy - we should only do things that bring us joy and we should do everything we do for our own joy. And along with joy, life can bring alot of pain, and I learned not to try to avoid it. Because if you avoid the pain, you avoid the love and passion and joy too. Because its the pain that shapes you and makes your life intense, and makes the love and joy that much more intense. Its all worth it. Its all worth it. previous /next |
