2001-11-14 - 5:58 p.m.

I want to write. I want to write short stories and novels. I want to write poetry. I want to write articles. I want to write web pages. I want to write.

I want to study and write about dreams, mythology, mysticism, shamanism, archeoastronomy, ethnobotany, indigenous cultures, cosmology, spirituality, creation stories, myths, legends, lore, symbols, beauty, magic, mystery, infinity, eternity, time, multiple dimensions, discoveries, possibilites, beliefs . . . and on and on

I want to study and write about bees, flowers, volcanos, oceans, people of a million kinds, vivid colors, stars, caves, labrynths, wings, mummies, snow . . . and on and on

All of these things I want to write about, a little at a time, until at the end of my life I have travelled all across the world and seen many things and left behind a stack of writings that have helped turn other people on to the things i am tripping on, writings that have for a minute caused someone else to stop and see the world through my eyes, and perhaps learn something, or dream something, or enjoy the world in a new way because of it --

I know I have my work cut out for me in the practical sense of things -- How when and where I will pay bills, make a living, pay debts, maintain transportation, finance travel, go back to school, make a career, get published

But in the short term, I need to have stick-to-it-ness and finish the project I am working on, this little novel of mine -- so that someday it will be the unpublished first novel of mine, because it really is crappy, but it is also reaching for all those things I enumerated earlier, or rather, it is the story of four kids waking to the world and starting to reach for those things, by seeking each other out.

So I need to cultivate motivation, to keep my momentum and keep learning and writing and making contributions towards my dreams -- and I need to cultivate patience, to keep me from pressuring myself about the time it takes to realize these things.