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2002-06-11 - 5:18 p.m. I had a date on Sunday. My first real date since, well, since Russell, my arctic circle fling/friend last year. (I've had sex between now and then, but not a real date date). It was so much fun! I went out with a Mabern, who was hilariously funny, extremely joyful and energetic, totally fascinating, and outrageously kind to me. He kept opening doors, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, offering to carry stuff, lighting my cigarettes etc. It was so charming.He treats me as nice as Cory, which reminds me I need to call him . . . And we laughed and talked about everything magical and complex and stimulating and intellectual and intrigueing and absurd that I can think of, from virgin mary sightings to chinese medical miracles . . . it was a good day. I adore Mabern, and my only concerns about him are our differing views on religion and politics (he voted for BUSH! yuck!) and his facial hair (he has a crazy BEARD! Eww!). These things would normally stop me in my tracks from dating him any further, because I wouldn't see a long term potential compatability between us. . . But I had such a good time, and I really enjoyed relaxing and being close to him, and I think he is absolutely kindhearted and generous and loving . . . So I remind myself that its just dating, and all that is required is enjoyment of myself and the other person -- This isn't serious yet and I don't have to worry about whether or not he would be a good husband, just whether or not I have fun with him. Which reminds me of another reminder to myself, a truth which Larissa recieved from Gemeni and passed along to me at the right time: There is no past. You can't see or touch the past. Its gone. There is no future. You can't see or touch the future. Don't waste my time stressing about it. There is only RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW. Am I doing what I want? Is today a good day? Am I enjoying myself? Am I doing something worthwhile? Yes. I'm tripping out on my diary, doing my writing thing, doing my computer geeky thing, and gushing to a web page. This is FUN. I love this! I love RIGHT NOW! previous /next |
