2002-07-12 - 8:58 a.m.

In real life I've never been to this house, allthough I suppose its a standard middle class one level house. The interesting thing about it is that it was set on a rock cliff,(A small one, overlooking a neighborhood or valley or something) and the only way up to the house was to climb a set of narrow stairs/ladder cut into the rock. This is typical of all the locales of my dreamscape; Most places in my dream world require a bit of climbing to get to, or are set on a hill/mountain/cliff.

So one of the people there, a blonde woman, (no relation at all to La) threw her cigarette butt into the bushes just below the cliff. Me and the other guy there knew it wasn't a good idea, and we could see that her cigarette butts were still lit a little. I commented to her that this had been the dryest summer on record, and that I hoped the bushes wouldn't catch fire.

Next thing I know, the bushes did catch fire! She went down the little cliffside to pour water on the bushes, and I brought her water to the cliff edge but didn't climb down with her, but even as the young man joined her and they worked on putting out the fire, I knew that the bushes were going to go up in flames and that the house was going to catch fire.

I went inside the house and called 911, then I told my mom and her friends that the house was going to burn down, and to get everybody out. They didn't really believe me.

I went ot the bedroom my mom and I were sharing and started gathering up a few things. I packed my mom a quick bag and put in it as many of her large bras as I could find (those are really expensive to replace!) and then as an afterthought, I started to pack a few things for myself . . . all of this seemed to take forever and I was concious that I should be with the others so I went back out into the living room.

By this time the fire had claimed half the house and left just little black charcoal outlines where there had been a house frame, like in cartoons. Everyone was surprisingly calm and action-oriented, and the fire was moving predictably through the house from room to room. We managed to pull out alot of the friend's furniture and belongings from the living room out onto the lawn (of course the lawn was a safe place!)

I went from room to room one last time looking for my books and my notebook to save them, but each time the room collapsed behind me as I couldn't retrieve them. I finally joined the others outside on the lawn.

I went up to my mother, who was talking to her friend, and everyone was in a good mood to my surprise, and so I asked her "Mommy, I left all my books in the house! Would you buy me a book to replace one that I lost?" And she answered "We'll see", which is her way of saying No in front of company. . .

All in all it was a strange dream, with several layers of meaning for me.

My house burned down when I was a baby -- so in one sense it reminded me of that and makes me wonder if some part of me as a baby wasn't concious of it. . . And as an adult I relived the experience in a different way, having to decide what to take, and panicking on behalf of the people in the house -- And knowing before everyone, like my mom did when our house burned down in real life, that the house was going to burn down.

When our house burned down, she tried to tell my father and he wouldn't believe her. When he finally left the house, he still didn't believe it was as bad as she said and he went back in to save the cat. If my mom hadn't tackled him on the lawn, he would have been in the house when the roof blew off . . .

And also I remember being concious in the dream of wishing I had kept my bags packed, so I didn't have to look through things, so that I could leave the house quickly and easily. In my dream I told myself to remember to keep my bags neat and ready to go, just in case of emergency -- I wonder if that's the way I keep myself uninvolved with life in real time, by always having my escape route and bags packed, by telling myself to always be ready to leave . . .

Another thing that struck me was the cigarette lighting the fire, and me knowing before everyone . . . On the way to work today I heard on the radio about this Math Professor in Long Beach, Hasaan Hasaan who came from Kuwait who is being fucked by our system because of suspected terrorist involvement. He was picked up after September 11 for no reason, just for looking Arab, and detained and interrogated. This happened a couple of times. Then he wrote an article in a school paper about his experience, and the experience of many other people in Los Angeles, who have been victims of The Patriot Act and our lack of civil liberties since September 11. Well, the police picked him up again, and he's still awaiting his hearing which should be next week, to determine whether or not his activities are anti-american, are treason, are terrorist etc. He could end up in prison forever, or deportation back to Kuwait (he'd been trying to immigrate) Anyway -- his friends and his lawyer testified what a nice honest loveable person he was, and that he was always attending student functions for the Jews and the Christians and the Muslims, that he was an open minded peace loving almost hippie type. His lawyer was freaked out not only about what happened to him, but he was freaked out that the police had been reading all of his (the lawyer's ) emails to friends and colleagues. Apparantly the Patriot act gives law enforcement the right to monitor email and correspondence without a warrant if its someone who is a suspected terrorist -- but the lawyer said that he ran into cops who recited to him almost verbatim letters written to him by friends and legal colleagues, and then laughed about it. The lawyer said that we are entering into a police state in this country.

Now I LOVE America, and I intend to live here my whole life, and I love the beautiful countryside, the passionate intelligent idealistic and hardworking population, and I love being American. It is because I love this country, and I want to be here, that this scares me to tears, I don't want to see my beloved country become some freaky police state.

But as I listened to this story, I thought of the small fire breaking out, and how I knew before anyone else it would become a raging house fire. And how we all survived the house fire happily, but the house burned down. And this chill went through my body as I told myself I should remember this date, July 12, 2002, as the date I first understood the depths to which our freedoms are being taken away, and first got a premonition of the possible future of our country, all in the name of preventing terrorism.

I hope it doesn't turn out that way -- but I can't help think of the hundreds of detainees across the country whose rights have been taken away from them - It didn't have to be this way. It doesn't have to be this way.

We have GOT to get this administration out of office. We have got to try our hardest to see that these violations to our civil rights are reversed under the next administration. We have got to get together on this, and support each other. Its time for a peaceful revolution in this country.