dreamself

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2003-02-04 - 4:58 p.m.

I remember when the Challenger blew up. I was in 4th grade in Richmond, and the whole class was looking at a color TV that had been wheeled into the class especially. It was the only time I had ever watched a TV in school before, and I was excited.

The shuttle took off, and you've seen what happened next, it broke in two cloudy parts shooting up in the sky.

I wasn't upset when it happened, because none of us had ever seen a shuttle launch before. I thought the smoke was normal, that the actual shuttle had blasted off at warp speed or something and the smoke was just alot of residue.

The crash was in the morning. That afternoon, the TV news came to our classroom. There were 40 kids in our class and they filmed us all and interviewed about 5 of us on what we thought about space exploration. I was one of the 5.

In fourth grade kid-speak, I expounded on the importance of the space program, the exploration of the universe, the inherent virtue of learning and the need for the human race to progress towards a new evolution, of which space travel was a key component.

That night, on the news, the only interview they aired was mine. I was wearing a light blue sweater and I had my hair cut short like a boys. They put my face on the air over and over in commercials and clips for the next week. This was back in the day before cable TV, so everyone watched the nightly news, and everyone saw me. For one week, I was the most famous kid in town.

Why did I care about space exploration at 9 years old? Why does it still fascinate me? How is it possible that humans were going to the moon before we had personal computers or VCRs or microwaves or portable phones? What other life forms are out there looking up at the same stars as we are? Do they ponder existential questions? Have they figured things out any better than we have?

At 26, I still believe what I did when I was nine. I thought then that the grown-ups would never let another disaster happen, but technology and grown-ups are fallable and it happened again.

But the crew of the Columbia did not die in vain. They died for the best cause in the world. Better than dying for war. They were helping the international multicultural scientific advancement of the whole world, and of our kids. Columbia crew, and NASA, and all the astronauts and cosmonauts and tekonauts of the world I thank you and I honor and salute you.

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