2003-02-11 - 12:35 a.m.

So moving weekend, Dean came down and helped me move. What an angel, he worked with me like a dog side by side moving my shit, with no complaints, and in fact, he stopped me frequently for stolen kisses between loads of boxes. This has endeared him to me forever, especially since now that my stuff is moved in I have the memory of him tirelessly and sweetly carrying these things in with me, and now I see him all around me in this place.

After we moved, that night, Chrissy had to make her film, so we all trooped back to my old (now empty) apartment to shoot her film. My old place was all brick walls and wood floors and fire escapes, very New Yorky. Dean and I were the principle characters in this black and white film of Chrissy's.

I can't wait to see the results - Primarily because Chrissy is brilliant and truly visionary and just emerging as a Director - she's going to be well known among artsy cult-filmist for her whole life, she's got an amazing drive to create, and she really has talent, I know she will become successful. She's already taken on an internship with a hollywood producer and she adores LA. She will make it. Mark my words.

And seeing, days later, our performance on her Mac, upon which I am now writing, I can say that Dean has amazed me, allthough sometimes he appears shy in person he has an electrifying presence on film.Chrissy thinks he should be an actor. Acting is not his chosen profession or destiny, but he really was incredible on film and I blush to think of the way he comes across on camera - I can't believe this actor, is my boyfriend.

My performance - well, I'd always thought I'd be good at acting, and I'm totally flattered that Chrissy used me in her film, I can't wait to see the finished product which will premier in a night of student films at the fucking EGYPTIAN THEATRE ON HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD later this spring! But after seeing myself on film I'm glad I didn't chuck it all to be an actress because I'm ok, but not nearly as good as I'd thought I would be. That's cool, because I've had the fun experience, I've helped Chrissy out, and hey - I'm a writer.

So for two days after the move we just made this movie, and had so much fun, and I realized - wow, this is my life!! It's crazy good!

Chrissy just came home, we've got another bottle of wine to drink, and I've got a valentine surprise to create for Dean, so I've got to go --

but knowing I may not get the chance to write for a week or more I have to add -- This weekend, mushrooms have been found and procured and Dean and I are about to have the adventure of our lifetimes . . . It's been a year since I last shroomed, and nothing could make me happier than doing them with him - I'm thrilled and expectant and lighthearted and in love and I'm drinking good green superfood juices and taking care of my body (ignore the wine) and filling my mind with beautiful things and preparing myself wholy for the wonderful weekend that I am about to embark on.

And for one special reader, I'd like to say - thank you thank you thank you for the trip in the mountains, the tea we drank in the company of many absurd and wonderfully good people - thank you for thinking so much of me to invite me and include me - i often think of that weekend in the mountains and I have nothing but appreciation and fondness for that time -- and I realize how special it is in this world and in this lifetime to share such a positive experience and have closeness like that - it's rare and beautiful, and I will always always think of it, it's part of me.