2003-09-10 - 2:41 p.m.

I'm on my lunchbreak as I write this. Earlier on my break I went to the cafe where I get a 30 percent discount, and treated myself to some delicious seared toro sushi - at my work! YUM. Then I walked through one of the photography exibits - in my building, on my lunchbreak! How cool is that?

The exhibit was photographs of famous artists -- Chagall, Matisse, Rothko, Picasso, Jasper Johns -- all in their studios or at home, just hangin' out. It was so inspirational looking at them, just who they are, just people -- and their work in the half drawn scribbled on a napkin stage all around them.

And I realized, that certainly writing isn't the only way I have to express myself. And why not make art? take up painting? The only thing that those artists have going for them is talent and some kind of a theme or message to the world. Who knows if I have talent -- I have no intentions of trying to make art my money business, but I definitely have ideas, messages, feelings and things to communicate. And maybe writing isn't the only way to do that.

I think I'm going to make some paintings/collages of crop circles.

In other news -- the secret is out in the open and now I can write about it here - WHEW! What a load off. I HATE having to be sneaky.

So La knows now that Jim had a summer fling with Courtney. No big deal, She and Jim have been broken up quite a while. She expected it, and she's been with other people, and it's really no big deal.

It still bothered me, though it didn't bother anyone else, but that's just because I think as a matter of course it's better not to date your best friend's ex-boyfriend. It's just bad taste. And out of 13 million people in LA, surely Jim could have found someone that wasn't La's friend.

But La is unconcerned, and if she's not bothered, i really have no right to be, so I'm letting this go . . .

It did bother me that I had to keep a secret from La, I hated doing that, keeping secrets from her, and I was afraid when she found out, and all her other friends knew, she'd feel like a fool -- but she knows now so everything's all good.

And I guess way down deep somewhere I had hoped she and Jim would get back together . . . so I've invested myself into what's happening in someone else's life and that's just not necessary either.

Anyway, it's all good now, and I have been relieved of all pressure, i feel MUCH better.

Meanwhile . . . My Daddy comes tomorrow -- What a bizarre and wonderful time this will be, I really can not wait!