2004-02-19 - 1:38 p.m.

Thursday night, Chrissy and I were trying to come up with presents for Leslie and Dean for Valentine's day, and we hit upon a great idea:

Let's make MUSIC VIDEOS!

So Friday Chrissy filmed me lipsynching to Cindy Lauper's "I Drove All Night" while I danced on and around my car. I filmed Chrissy dancing in a bikini to "Burning Up for Your Love" by Madonna. Needless to say, this was FUN!!

I have to take a time out to give *snaps* to Chrissy, who is so talented, creative, wild, and such the best friend.

Friday night late Dean arrived. I swear I have never missed a person so much in my life! And as he arrived he gave me the most enormous box of Chocolates (Godiva!) in a big red satin heart box, just like in a big red heart love dream! Allthough he got in at 3 AM, we stayed up until 5 together kissing and catching up. A wonderful night.

Saturday Dean slept in and I got up early and had breakfast with Chrissy and then we set about editting our videos on her Mac. Again, FUN! We weren't quite done when Dean got up, but I told him I was helping Chrissy with her video and he didn't suspect we were actually working on a present for him!

Then Dean and I had brunch -- Heart-shaped eggs (with the help of a special heart-shaped egg pan) and Southern biscuits. We drank Mimosas, and ate on the porch in the afternoon sun looking out at the view of the mountains. Lovely!

Our evening activity was attending the Paul Laffoley lecture in Hollywood at the Melrose Light Space. We were told the doors would open at 7:00 and Paul would be speaking early -- When we got there at 7:30 he was already in full swing, and then he spoke until 10:45 PM! Dean and I sat in rapt attention for over 3 hours and were not bored for one single minute!

Here's where I have to cut in and say that I never realized before this evening how truly truly bored I am all the time. I fall asleep in meetings at work (even when I've had plenty of sleep!) I fall asleep during the 15 minute sermons at church, I fell asleep through many many of my college classes -- But I swear, even with no sleep, I was AWAKE for all 3+ hours of Paul Laffoley's lecture! I have got to start stimulating my mind!

And here's where I also have to stop and say - How lucky am I that I found someone who is into all these same things with me? - paul laffoley and magic and consciousness and art and politics and writing - I am so lucky to know Dean and to be able to share this with him.

So Paul spoke, and again, I can't even describe the beauty of his diagrams or the scope of his ideas. My mind was BLOWN.

After the lecture, I was such a goober, I went up to Paul and asked him for a picture and Dean took a picture of me with him. But what I really wanted was for Dean to be in the picture! At the time I was so bowled over I just didn't know what to say in the situation, and after the picture was snapped Paul rushed away, and I wasn't sure if Paul was annoyed, and anyway I felt like a goober. I just don't know how to conduct myself around people I really admire. I get all goobery.

Steve was at the lecture too, just as excited by it as we were. He said he's taking an alchemy class at the Philosophical Research Society. He's the one who introduced me to the magic class. Steve is definitely on the same wavelength as me and Dean, it was good to see him!

So, here's where I get to THE COOLEST PART: Dean and I were walking back to his car, when RM comes up to us! Dean introduced himself, and RM was totally friendly and flattered that we were fans, and he turned to me and said "You're Dreamself, right?" I can't believe he remembered my name after meeting me for 2 seconds last week! His car was on the way to our car, so as we walked past it he stopped and rummaged through his trunk and gave all this wonderful stuff - He gave Dean a DVD and he gave me a STACK of his books! I couldn't believe it! (I have been DYING to read "Book of Lies" for so long, waiting on Dean and Larissa to finish their copies, and he straight gave it to me! )I couldn't believe how genuine he was, and how generous. I was completely bowled over. It really made my night.

*As a note to myself so I don't forget, Paul's birthday is August 16 and RM's mother's birthday is Valentine's day.

As Dean and I drove home, it seemed like the world was completely laid open to us, that signs were happening, that we were truly living our destiny, and all the people and things we want to learn about are not only possible but seeking us out! Dean and I kissed in a car at a stoplight, and it was the best kiss of my life.

We got pizza on the way home, then curled up in my bedroom to smoke up, eat it, and watch the Disinfo DVD and . . . my MUSIC VIDEO!

Dean was SURPRISED! and joyful! and laughing! and so happy! and touched - And it was one of the best times I've ever had giving a gift, because it was so well received. Seeing him smile and laugh like that was amazing - that's what it was meant to for, making him feel so good.

February 14, 2004 was truly on of the best days of my life.

Sunday, Dean and I went to see his father at the California Speedway. His dad races cars!! A vintage red mini-cooper, to be eact. How friggin' cool is that. He was in a race car driver outfit and everything. What a great family.