2005-02-25 - 8:37 p.m.

I feel like I'm on a roll! Writing has been my focus my whole life, but there have always been too many constraints on my time and energy for me to be motivated. Finally, I'm in Santa Cruz, and I'm so happy and I have all the time in the world, I have had no reason to procrastinate. And I finally did it!!

I'm back, Baby! I'm back!

One reason I have all the time in the world: I lost my job. I got fired at the first of this month from my awesome job at the University. WHY? I really don't know, although I'd venture to guess that it was because my boss was simply pathetic. I actually liked her and loved the job, and did a GREAT JOB I might add, I really put my all in to my work, but one day she said that I hadn't proofread a document well enough, and reminded me I was "on probation." The next week she fired me.

I accepted the firing gracefully and let her know that we had not adequately discussed my job performance, and then I updated her on the status of all of the projects she had assigned to me, and then I left the office sweetly, I didn't burn any bridges. I visited the HR office the next day and the HR lady told me she hoped I would apply for another job at the University because I was still eligible.

Allthough I can't help but feel anger to wards my ex-boss over this, I'm not really upset about losing this job because I know I have mad skills and I know I did a stellar job. I still have terrific references from my past jobs, I know I'll get another one when I apply.

In the meantime, and with Dean's encouragement (Did I mention that I adore Dean?) I am taking a few weeks off to write. I'm working a day or two a week at the comic shop in the meantime just to make ends meet. In a couple of weeks, I will go back to the job market - but I think this time I will go to a temp agency and try and temp until this summer - I am so excited about our travel plans this summer and if I take on a new job there's no way I'd get 2-6 weeks off for vacation so soon!

I'm also thinking of substitute teaching, allthough despite all my confident talk to my family and friends about this plan, I fear I will be too shy for this. Also, I fear being awake and at the school at the butcrack of dawn. But I'm going to give it the good old college try - I'm taking the C-Best test the first week of April in order to be eligible to teach, so wish me luck on that.

So, despite losing my job (and health benefits) I am so happy, so in love, so blissed out on life! And so productive! Yay!

Dean is reading my story right now . . . I think he's finishing (eek! I'm really excited, and also nervous - What if I'm just a mediocre writer? I fear I may be. What else will I do with life? Keep writing unpublishable mediocre stories? I suppose I will - the urge to write is in me, in spite of whatever talent or lack thereof I might have.)